the race for the stanley cup is finally on!
The playoffs are upon us, and this is the time of year when fans go all out. Costumes, custom hockey jerseys, face paint, and homemade Stanley Cups can be found in just about every barn across the league. I love it all for the most part, but some of these replica cups bother me. They’re wonky, lazy, and just plain ugly.
So, this week I want to show you the top 10 worst homemade Stanley Cups.
You’d better sit down, ’cause this isn’t going to be pretty.
A group of Jets fans cheer on their team during the 2023 Stanley Cup Playoffs.
10. turn down the base
This cup is way too wrinkly! Phil Pritchard would never let the real cup out in public without at least ironing it first. Not only that, but the body is a bit too long, and that base is the size of a spare tire. The base should be waaaay smaller and black. It does look like you can drink from it, though, so at least there’s that.
To the bottom left hand side of the jersey, you can see the Gunzo’s logo.
9. this one's a stretch
That’s former Bruins defenceman, Dennis Seidenberg, holding a straight-up abomination of a replica cup. It looks less like the Stanley Cup and more like one of those things that you put your cigarette out in before you enter a government building. That neck is way too stretched out, and boo-urns to the team branding. The Stanley Cup should NEVER have a team logo on it!
8. just because you can, doesn't mean you should
The Toronto Maple Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967. It’s been so long that they forgot what the cup even looks like, and this is the proof.
7. more than meats the eye
I don’t know how this meat monstrosity looks more like the actual cup than the previous two entries, but here we are. That said, while it does look better than some of the other homemade cups, it’s hoist-ability is zero and it only has a shelf life of a couple days, maximum.
6. blast from the past
Bro, do you even watch hockey? This tin foil travesty looks like the Stanley Cup did back in the 1930s when players would cradle it like a newborn baby.
Too. Much. Neck!
Gloves dropped! Chaos everywhere!
5. the stanley cube
No team has won the Stanley Cup more than the Montreal Canadiens. So, Habs fans should know better than anyone that the cup portion of the trophy is NOT square.
That’s very, very important.
4. Spit take
The proportions are actually pretty good on this one, but if you look closely you’ll notice that it’s made entirely of old chewing tobacco tins. Whoever wins this Stanley Cup is going to need a second cup to spit in. Gross.
3. wicked bad
This “effort” looks like it’s pretty flimsy in the body, and the cup portion is not proportional, so I’m glad to see that the police confiscated it.
2. uh...
This should be what the actual runner up gets, because if the Stanley Cup looked like this, I’m not sure anybody would want to win it.
If you’ve ever lent this person a bucket, I think I know where it ended up.
1. the s'more
Looks like somebody left the Stanley Cup in the oven for a bit too long. The details are just drawn on with a sharpie, and the wonky NHL logo seals the deal. If you’re going to draw a logo on the Cup (please don’t), at least make it a team logo (again, don’t). Drawing the NHL logo on there is like cheering for the refs.
details, details, details!
It’s funny looking at these terrible, terrible homemade cups. You can tell that they’re trying to replicate the Stanley Cup, but it’s the little details that make all the difference. As a jersey maker, I get frustrated when I see people ignoring key details when trying to replicate a piece of art. That’s why I always use the right fonts, the right letter spacing, the right colours, and the right fabrics on my jerseys.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some really incredible looking replica cups out there, like this beauty. And there are some really cool artistic spins on the cup as well, like this 160 pound beast made of repurposed metal.
Pretty neat, huh? If you had a good laugh at this, sign up for the 4 Shots with Keener news letter below. Every Friday I send out my thoughts on hockey jerseys and hockey culture right to your email. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s brow-furrowing, but it’s always interesting.
See you next week!
