Keener Thoughts

Jersey Secrets

When I first held a game worn Jets jersey in my hands, not only did I feel the difference in quality and weight between the replicas I was used to, but I also noticed the change in embroidery direction in the “J stick” on the crest-

-the stick had tape! ????

If you’re a pro/game worn collector, this is the stuff you love. The details no one else knows about!

There’s a bunch of them out there, and we try to catch them all in this Friday’s article.

The Great Debate

Sometimes it feels like Gretzky is the sports version of The Tragically Hip.

Cross the border, and his popularity plummets. John Oliver’s recent mention of ‘The GOATs’ – Jordan, Messi, and Serena Williams – serves as yet another reminder that Gretzky and hockey aren’t universally appreciated.

To understand Gretzky’s dominance from 1981 to 1987 in other sports:
‣ In baseball, a player would need to consistently surpass a .400 batting average, hit 80-90 home runs per season, steal 80-90 bases, and maintain an OPS over 1.200.
‣ In football, picture a quarterback throwing for 60-70 touchdowns, surpassing 5,000 passing yards, and completing 75-80% of their passes in a single season.
‣ In basketball, envision a player averaging 45-50 points, securing 15-20 rebounds and assists, shooting above 60% from the field, all while dominating defensively.

It’s unfortunate that Gretzky might forever remain overlooked as ‘the GOAT’ beyond Canada.

If he were an American excelling in those other sports, there might be a towering statue honouring his greatness off the New York shore instead of the Statue of Liberty.

This is NOT Dentist Approved

Other than greasy mullets and the phrase “pucks in deep”, players missing a few teeth is probably the biggest stereotype you think of when somebody says the word ‘hockey.’

That one photo of Bobby Clarke smiling- you know the one I’m talking about- could possibly be the most recognizable hockey photo of all time.

Seeing that the coveted ‘hockey smile’ is such a huge piece of the sport’s reputation, I figured that we could check out some of the most iconic hockey smiles and their stories.

Getting smacked in the face by a hockey stick while moving at a rapid speed probably doesn’t feel great, but you would never know that, seeing how Pascal Dupuis handled it.
After getting an accidental whack to the chops by his own teammate, Kris Letang, Pascal did what any other person would do and simply skated off the ice… and yanked those chompers out himself! 30 seconds later, he’s back on the ice. Didn’t even miss a shift!

If losing two teeth is less than ideal, how about seven? During a playoff series against the San Jose Sharks, Duncan Keith had the misfortune of experiencing just that.
After an errant puck struck him in the face, writhing in pain, he understandably left the ice.
Understandably concerned, teammate Adam Burish stated he thought Duncan would be done for the series. Not even three minutes later, Keith is back on the bench with a mouthful of toilet paper, ready to get back to work.

In his prime, when the name “Bob Probert” was mentioned, opponents stayed in line and teammates stood a foot taller.
He was the scariest man in hockey, a 1-time NHL All-Star, a fan favourite, and would do whatever was necessary to keep his teammates safe.
Being such a prominent and popular figure in the sport, it was every enforcer’s goal to beat him in a fight. And after years of taking punches for a living, let’s just say his teeth weren’t thanking him.

So, what’s the moral of the story? Wear a mouthguard, and keep those chiclets safe!

Honour Greatness.

Retirement banners are representative of a legendary player’s ascent to hockey immortality.

A chance for the older fans to look up to the rafters and see the names of players they looked up to as kids.
With Jagr about to have his name hanging up in the rafters of PPG Paints Arena in Pittsburgh, I wanted to honour some of the nicest retired player banners in the NHL.

The Canucks, for example, have uniquely themed their banners to each player’s respective eras.

Fans looking up at the Rogers Arena rafters can get a true snapshot into their team’s history; seeing players like Stan Smyl, Trevor Linden, and Pavel Bure all represented with the iconic Flying Skate, whereas Markus Naslund and the Sedin twins are represented with the more modern ‘Orca C’ logo we all know today.

Taking our focus over to the other side of the continent now, of course an Original 6 team got it right.

Not only do the Detroit Red Wings have one of the most impressive catalogues of retired numbers in NHL history, but they also have some of the most recognizable branding in the entire history of sports as a whole.

From Gordie Howe to Steve Yzerman, the Red Wings did their legendary players justice with a simple and elegant red banner featuring the player’s name, number, and a small Wings logo in the lower left-hand corner.

In Steve Yzerman’s case, a small captain’s ‘C’ is located on the upper right-hand side of the banner, to symbolize his nearly 2-decade span as team captain.

Which player do you think should have their jersey number retired next?

The Art of the Bucket

I love a good bucket.

When I was young, the NHL had lots of different shaped lids; from Lanny’s bowling ball, to Messier’s Tron Top- almost every player had a unique helmet.

These days, helmets don’t differ too much in shape, but the teams are getting creative with decorating them.

The chrome domes in LA and Vegas, and the painted football look the Pens and Flyers wore in the 2019 Stadium Series Games come from true outside-the-skull thinking!

This weekend, my wife pointed out that the Coyotes’ were wearing matte helmets with their Desert Night jerseys— wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for her!

Kinda reminded me of myself in the early 90’s: when Chelios was traded to the Blackhawks, he wore a flat-looking helmet that was probably painted to cover all that old Canadiens blue!
I thought it was a great look, so I sanded down my Cooper SK2000 (Tron) to look the same.

Boy, did my scoring not increase at all! 

This Is TRUE Dedication.

Ava, one of our own employees, is a huge NASCAR fan. She shows her admiration of Dale Sr. with a customized spare tire cover on the back of her Jeep- although that’s NOTHING compared to the Montreal Canadiens superfan who decked out their H2 Hummer bumper-to-bumper in Habs branding!

Fans show their love for sports in many different ways; tattoos, head shavings, and apparently, even customized car wraps!

What’s the strangest way YOU’VE ever seen a fan honour their favourite sports team or player? Let us know on our social channels!

‘Old Dads’ or ‘Old Keener’?

The new Netflix movie “Old Dads” just came out, and my phone has been blowing up with people saying “Bill Burr’s character sounds just like you!”

Let’s take a look at the similarities:
•Bill Burr is known for stand up comedy; Keener did comedy for over 15 years, but is not known for it
•’Old Dads’ is a story about a guy who had his first child at 46; Keener is 48 and a month away from the birth of his first child!
•Burr’s character owns a jersey manufacturing company with his friends; Keener owns a jersey company with his longtime friend, Jason
•Burr hates scooters until he finally rides one, turns out he loves it! Keener recently rode one in Denver, and turns out he loved it too!

Not sure if there’s a use of likeness issue here, but check out this movie and let us know if it should be called ‘Old Dads’ or ‘Old Keener’!

The Often Overlooked Pants

Here’s some pics of some great uniform pants, as well as my own shorts that I designed to look like the early 90’s Minnesota North Stars uniform pants! Speaking of which, uniform pants are often overlooked by sports teams as an opportunity to be creative. Some teams have absolutely nailed their trousers; decorating them with emblems and patterns, and some have simply left them a blank canvas.

Should more hockey teams start decorating their pants?